What Went Wrong: Architecture in Helsinki's "Places Like This", Most Disappointing Album of 2007

Yep, we fucked up

Maybe it's a little cynical to begin my year-end hoopla with the declaration of the most disappointing album of this year. After all, as derisive as I sometimes am, I would always prefer to praise the hell out of something instead of drive it into the ground. But the way I figure it, let's get the glum stuff out of the way now, so there's just the best of the best left. I think the Most Disappointing Album of the Year award is a fascinating one that not enough publications select; sure, they select the WORST album of the year, but what fun is it dissecting Keven Federline's "Playing With Fire"? I'd much rather take a look at an album that should have been good, from an artist that's either clearly great or right on the cusp of greatness. People take missteps all the damn time, why shouldn't the most talented of us? 2007 saw a high amount of disappointing releases, but none can hold a candle to Architecture in Helsinki's "Places Like This", one of the most misguided albums in recent memory.

Oh sure, bigger artists messed up this year. Wilco's "Sky Blue Sky" may take the silver just for being really boring, while "Volta", "A Weekend In the City", "The Stage Names" (damn, that one hurt), and "Voxtrot" all deserve honorable mention. And all of those albums are deeply flawed, but none of them are uniquely bad. "Places Like This" is bad. It's really, really bad. I love Architecture in Helsinki, and had a great time at one of their shows this summer. And I can't even listen to "Places Like This".

So let's figure out why. Architecture made a huge sonic leap between their first and second albums, ditching the beautiful found-sound minimalism of "Fingers Crossed" for the righteously goofy pop of "In Case We Die". I'm not ashamed to admit that "In Case We Die" was instrumental in introducing me to indie music, and remains one of my most beloved albums. "Fingers Crossed" really is an overlooked accomplishment, but listening to "In Case We Die" again, it STILL sounds like the perfect blend of meticulousness and downright fun. Songs like "It'5!" and "Wishbone" were gleeful twee, sure, and I can understand someone getting easily annoyed at its "Hey kids, let's eat some Cocoa Puffs and have a GOOD TIME!" vibe, but there was just a ton of heart in each track. The glimpses at the emotional center the band established with "Fingers Crossed" were fewer and farther between, but when they broke to the forefront, the album's sickening joy was given a point. From the third part of "In Case We Die pt. 1-4", the end of "Wishbone", and, fuck, the entirety of "Maybe You Can Owe Me", "In Case We Die" injected the smiles with a sense of profundity. Yeah, this was "Fingers Crossed" on meth, but it wasn't hard to recognize that these were still the same guys, just a lot more up-tempo.

"Places Like This" sounds like Architecture in Helsinki finally deciding that, although they weren't annoying on "In Case We Die" despite getting sorta-close to that point a few times, they were an annoying band at heart, and they should make the most downright annoying album of the year. It's a laughable concept, I know, but if you hear this album, you'll know what I mean. Everything from "In Case We Die" is back, but is multiplied by ten; shit just sounds bigger on "Places Like This", and pretty soon everything gets cluttered. And when I say everything, I mean every whizz-bang sound that Architecture is constructing: loopy synths run into space-rock guitar riffs run into cowbells run into swirling vocal chants. It's just a mess, and sharply contrasts with the surprisingly ordered instrumentation of "In Case We Die". What's really staggering is that, even when a billion things are going on at once, some of the songs are just insanely dull. "Feather In a Baseball Cap" is the best example of this: tons of synths and horns and other gizmos they're surely using combine for a massive line that becomes unbearably droning after twelve seconds. It's almost unthinkable to say that there's not enough going on in these songs, but using 38 instruments doesn't necessarily bulk up substance.

But no, by far the most crushingly irritating aspect of "Places Like This" are the vocals. I remember, not too long ago, Architecture were making songs like "Imaginary Ordinary", with singing that you could describe as "discreet" or "hushed". They greatly expanded the use of vocals on "In Case We Die" to coincide with the pop tendecies of that album, and while they became a bit more flamboyant, there was still time for some tenderness in "Tiny Paintings" and "Wishbone", among others. To put it bluntly, "In Case We Die" contained vocals that were unorthodox and at times off-color, but they were still, ya know, human. "Places Like This" further elasticizes the vocal ranges of AiH's various singers until they become so contorted that you don't know whether to laugh or cry. The near-identical singing on "Red Turned White" and "Hold Music" make those songs practically unlistenable; the guy sounds like a mix between the dude in the B-52's who makes all the dumb lines in "Love Shack" and Miss Piggy. It's fucking dreadful. If anyone actually likes these songs, I salute them ten-fold, if I can even physically do that.

And it's not just the vocals themselves; it's the way they're arranged, and on a broader scale, the arrangement of the songs themselves. Take a song like "Heart It Races". This is AiH in steel-drum-and-tribal-chant mode, and the hooks are comprised of them either yelling "HEART IT RACES!!!" in the most nasal voices ever, or wacky scatting. There's some lyrics, and a breakdown at the end, and whatever, but it's all so fucking pointless. The song can't escape its structure, and almost immediately fails. I also want to take some time to discuss "Like It Ar Not", literally one of the worst songs I've ever heard. Seriously. I'd rather listen to "Don't Phunk With My Heart" 6 times in a row than this sing-along turd.

Maybe I'm being a little harsh on Architecture in Helsinki, but it's just that, to me, "Places Like This" really isn't "oh well, maybe they'll do better next time" disappointing, it's plain awful. I've counted a total of one good song -- "Nothing's Wrong" is pretty solid -- but other than that, "Places Like This" belongs in the toilet. It's had two lasting effects on me, though: I appreciate "In Case We Die" more than ever (really, take another listen to it, it's awesome), and I really, really want to know what's next for this band. Obviously "Places Like This" wasn't as critically admired as their first two efforts, so will they revert back to their humble beginnings, or keep going down this hellish trail of smiley music? My guess would be the latter, but you never know; neither of their follow-ups have been anything as expected. This band certainly has got a few tricks up its sleeve, but let's just pray it doesn't have another train wreck.