Thursday, October 4, 2007

The Great Debate: "Amnesiac" vs. "Hail to the Thief"

OBEY!!!




So as we now all know, "In Rainbows" just came out, and the world is going to implode. Radiohead, the sneaky fuckers that they are, hid its release until September 30th, and now everyone's going nuts that a new Radiohead LP is upon us. But before we all delve into the paranoid headtrip "In Rainbows" totally is (and a great one at that), let's take a look back at their last two paranoid headtrips. Although they do not receive the mass acclaim of "OK Computer" or "Kid A", "Amnesiac" and "Hail to the Thief" are pretty fantastic records. The problem is that, unlike the former two, they're flawed. When you're a band as brilliant as Radiohead, it's difficult to release any material that's just really good, because people know you're capable of being even better.



"Amnesiac" and "Hail to the Thief" mark the point in Radiohead's career where they had already proven everything to everyone, and no longer had a singular sound; in fact, the point they made with "Kid A" was to destroy any semblance of their old "sound" and reshape into something else altogether. "Amnesiac", and especially "Hail to the Thief", are the recovery from that complete sound obliteration. They are the works of five men who have explored everything already, and are trying to figure out their next move. This could have been a problematic situation if this were any other band, but luckily, we were given two more albums of unbelievably compelling musics, songs that stick a toe into uncharted waters just because the band was feeling risky.


So which is better? Let's find out! Remember, almost everything here is completely subjective, so a lot of people are going to disagree with me. That's cool, bro. I'm also going to try to refrain from referring to any of Radiohead's other albums, and keep the battle strictly confined to these two works. Let's do it.


The Battle:


Better Opener: "Packt Like Sardines in a Crusht Tin Box" vs. "2 + 2 = 5"


This is an interesting battle, because these songs are so insanely different, but appeal to the strongest aspects of the band. "Sardines" is meticulously executed, insular, and filled with stuttering electro-blips; "2 + 2 = 5" is a mid-tempo wailer with a great guitar line until gloriously climaxing. They represent two of the song forms that Radiohead have perfected, and start off their respective albums at a high quality. I'm going with "2 + 2 = 5", and you could say that it's just a matter of taste, because I personally prefer the structure of the song to that of "Sardines" (damn man, when that guitar rolls in, I always get goosebumps), but I also think "2 + 2 = 5" is a more indispensable opening song. If anyone thinks this song can fit anywhere else on "Hail to the Thief" as effectively as in the opening slot, you are thinking incorrectly. Coupled with "Sit Down, Stand Up", the beginning of "Hail to the Thief" is pulse-pounding. While "Sardines" has its merits as an opener, I could see it standing anywhere on "Amnesiac" without much of a difference. Meanwhile, "2 + 2 = 5" is the Ichiro of "Hail to the Thief": you gotta lead off with this sucker! Winner: Hail to the Thief


Best Song: "Pyramid Song" vs. "There There"


Honestly, you could debate calling "There There" as "Hail to the Thief"'s best song; I would be more than understandable to arguments for "Backdrifts", "Go To Sleep" or even "Myxomatosis". "There There" is just the song I like best on "Hail to the Thief", I guess, and it's because I think it's the most genuinely exciting to listen to. The esoteric beginning, the lyrics, the way it all comes together to make a cracked anthem at the end... no no, the best part about "There There" is the vocal echoes in the second verse, which gets me EVERY time. I should probably be mentioning right about now that none of this matters (for this debate, anyway), because "There There", cannot and will not top "Pyramid Song", by far the best song on "Amnesiac". This is really no contest. This may be the best song Thom Yorke has ever sung. It kills me every time how Radiohead takes the most incomprehensible piano loop ever created and birthed something as gorgeous as this. If anyone ever debates the merits of "Amnesiac" and denotes it as an album of cast-offs or b-sides, they need to listen to "Pyramid Song" again. Winner: Amnesiac


Better Worst Song: "Pulk/Pull Revolving Doors" vs. "Sail To The Moon"


Again, this one really is no contest. Both of these choices are certainly debatable -- this match-up could easily be "Hunting Bears" vs. "We Suck Young Blood" -- but they're just the songs I will always, always skip when listening to the albums straight-through. I say that this is no contest because I fucking, fucking hate "Pulk/Pull Revolving Doors". My reasoning is threefold. My first reason is that it's just an awful experiment. I know that the song "Kid A" is kinda cool and completely captures the album's mood, but "Pulk/Pull" is a clumsy knock-off, just incomprehensible beats and a really high robot voice saying things I can only assume are annoying. I don't even want to look up the lyrics, they'd just piss me off I assume. My second reason is that the second utterly destroys the supreme high left over from "Pyramid Song" that could have easily carried over to "You and Whose Army?", another album highlight. What a terrible mistake Radiohead made, putting this crap in the crucial 3rd spot of the album and separating two gems. My third reason is simple: the song's OVER FOUR MINUTES. Of nothing. I just hate it. As for "Sail To The Moon"... listening to it again, it really is a weak song, and seems sort of unnecessary, but at least it's listenable (and, if I'm not mistaken, it's about Thom's kid, which is all right). I'd rather listen to "Rock N Roll Jesus" a dozen times (big up Kid Rock, R.I.P. Joe C.) than "Pulk/Pull Revolving Doors" again. Winner: Hail to the Thief


Better Sequencing: "Amnesiac" vs. "Hail to the Thief"


This one is very important to me. An album's sequencing could determine its overall effect, and for a band like Radiohead, which tries to create an original atmosphere with each new effort, the sequencing is key to an album's quality. While a lot of people gripe about "Amnesiac"'s seemingly random sequencing and how it exposes the album as a collection of b-sides, I think the album is rather specifically laid out, with most song transitions feeling organic enough to signal some sort of blueprint the band had for the record. "Hail to the Thief" also feels like it has movements, and for the most part, these tonal shifts work well. I'm going to give the edge to "Hail to the Thief", however, because for some reason it just FEELS more like a proper album than "Amnesiac", and the sequencing has something to do with it. It again may be a matter of personal preference, but the way that, say, "The Gloaming" feeds into "There There", as if the claustrophobic veil of the album's middle third is finally being lifted so that the listener can breathe... moments like this just don't occur as well on "Amnesiac". The way that the songs are arranged on "Hail to the Thief" may not be perfect, but it's strong enough to make an impact. When it comes down to it, "Hail to the Thief" is much more rewarding to listen to straight-through than "Amnesiac", which could just as well exist with all the songs on shuffle. Winner: Hail to the Thief

Better Length: "Amnesiac" vs. "Hail to the Thief"

Again, a matter of taste, but this is one of the major advantages that "Amnesiac" has over "Hail to the Thief": "Thief" is just too damn long. At 56 minutes and 14 tracks, some of the songs -- really good ones, too -- just get lost in the shuffle of this behemoth. It's not that the music here isn't tight; you don't here any wacky 5-minute solos that could be cut out. There's simply too many songs for one album, in my opinion. "Amnesiac" is a leaner album, at nearly 13 minutes less in length, and even with weak tracks like "Pulk/Pull Revolving Doors" and "Hunting Bears", the tracks establish themselves in the spotlight with greater ease. Most of "Hail to the Thief"'s tracks are superb, but some have trouble grabbing your attention when part of such a large whole. I mean, if we got rid of "Sail To The Moon", "We Suck Young Blood", "I Will", and "Scatterbrained", we'd all feel bad for a little while, but what we'd have is a more compact album, with every song fresh and vital. Oh well. Winner: Amnesiac

Less Pretentious: "Amnesiac vs. Hail to the Thief"

This is easy: have you checked out the duel titles on "Hail to the Thief"'s songs? "There There" is actually "There There (The Boney King of Nowhere)"? Oh hell no. I know the "Less Pretentious" award is not that prestigious, but "Amnesiac" has to win SOMETHING for not being involved with what sounds like an idea that Staind rejected for an album. Giving your songs two titles (one real, one secret, of course; oh the power of parentheses!) is not cool, it's just pretentious. Does ANYONE refer to these songs by both titles, or their alternate ones, or whatever? Come on. Sorry, Radiohead, I know being weird and mysterious is your thing, but you lost me on this one. Winner: Amnesiac

Better Closer: "Life In a Glass House" vs. "A Wolf At the Door"

This one -- the one that will decide the champion of this match -- is probably the toughest, because both of these songs are just really, really cool. "Life In a Glass House" is a complete departure for Radiohead, with so much back-alley brass blasting over Thom's sportier-than-usual vocals that this is damn near jazz. Yorke still sounds defeated, but the curious instruments give him company, and the result is remarkable. "A Wolf at the Door", meanwhile, starts innocently enough, with typical creepy Radiohead riff (an organ this time, if I'm not mistaken?) exploding into a Thom Yorke rhymefest. Dude's spitting fire on this one, and we never even saw it coming! His delivery gives the song its backbone because it is so unlike anything else on the record, or maybe even in Radiohead's catalogue. Both of these songs close off the albums almost impossibly good, since they summarize the moods of the records so closely while sounding as unique for both the album and the band as possible. They touch on new territories for the band, and are really breathtaking experiences; these songs are reason enough to merit Radiohead as truly talented. To pick one over the other is damn hard. I think if I'm being forced to choose though, I'm gonna have to pick "A Wolf At the Door", partially because it's a more fun listen, partially because it contains Thom muttering the lines "Dance you fucker, dance you fucker", but mostly because it represents why "Hail to the Thief" is a better album than "Amnesiac". As good as "Amnesiac" is, it just doesn't resonate as well, or take as many unexplored paths, or offer as many inescapably beautiful moments. "Life In a Glass House" is complacently enjoyable, but it doesn't haunt you as long as "A Wolf At the Door" does, and never provides a moment to match the 1:59 mark on "Wolf", where Thom bulls into the last verse on the album with unstoppable conviction. "Amnesiac" and "Hail to the Thief" are brilliant albums, but "Thief" just does a little more for me, like "Wolf" and "Glass House". Winner: Hail to the Thief

Final Tally: Amnesiac 3, Hail to the Thief 4

So there you have it; all hail "the Thief"! As long as it doesn't have "Pulk/Pull Revolving Doors", I'm okay with it.

Whatever, "In Rainbows" is better than both of them anyway.....

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